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Self Love vs Self Indulgence

In the last post I wrote about 15 Things to show yourself self-love in quarantine. Today we're going to talk a little bit more about what that means. Many people thing self love is selfish - however what you're thinking about then is self-indulgence. Self love is like eating a slice of your favourite pie...self-indulgence is like eating the WHOLE pie. Like everything in life the key is moderation. I know I know I know! Moderation is so easy to preach about and yet so difficult to actually follow through. 

My mind immediately goes to John Mulaney's "Happy Birthday" bit from his Netflix special The Comeback Kid. Go watch it here really quick, have a nice chuckle and then come back.  

Self Love

Self love, sometimes referred to as self care, is about feeling your feelings and taking care of yourself. Feeling your feelings is an act of self-love.

Self-love is paying as much attention as needed. It means feeling what needs to be felt. It means refusing to abuse yourself. You refrain from taking out aggression or shame on yourself.

Here's what the world wide web (according to google) defines self love as: noun. regard for one's own well-being and happiness. Let's dissect that a little. Regard for one's own well being and Happiness. What does that mean to you? Does it mean not sacrificing your needs over someone else's? Does it mean saying no to going out with your girls because you really need your rest? Is it taking a bubble bath when you've had a long day? Or treating yourself to a little chocolate when you're feeling a lil blue and need a pick me's all of those things and so. Much. More. It's building your self-esteem. Your confidence. Your security in your abilities.

In today's world many of us suffer from something called "imposter's syndrome". This is a psychological pattern, in which one doubts their accomplishments. This can further expand itself to a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Which then leads to anxiety. Oh how we all have anxiety.

This is where the self love comes in and how we can use it to better ourselves and our state of living. Here's some quick and simple ways to start incorporating self love in your life today:

  • Stop saying yes when you really mean no. This one's the hardest to do but the most important. So often we agree to things we don't want to do out of fear of disappointing those we care about or those that may be "holding" something over us (ie your boss or coworker).
  • Honour yourself. Start out small - it's easier to keep up with it and turn it into a habit. When you say you're going to do something for yourself follow through! This can be as small as "I'll stretch in the morning in order to help me wake up".
  • Don't neglect your self care. This just means remember to give your body and mind what it needs. Feed yourself food that will make you feel good. I'm not saying don't eat junk food - just remember that our bodies are highly affected by what we put into them. Fruits and veggies are an amazing and tasteful way to get those vitamins in while still being able to snack! My personal favourite is bell peppers with cream cheese...yum! Rest when your body asks for it - did you know people with sleep deprivation have worse reflexes and cognitive abilities than a drunk person? (Check it out here if you want to read more on the topic).
  • Put yourself first. Listen, this one is self explanatory...but if you really need me to explain it to you think back to how when you're flying and the flight attendant tells you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before the child. Same theory.

Self Indulgence

Self-indulgence is the act of allowing oneself to enjoy the pleasure of something desired. This is a slippery road to hedonism. Not that there's anything wrong with hedonism, simply as long as you are not harming or infringing on other people's rights while pursuing this life of pleasure, and only pleasure.

See the problem with this is that not everything is going to always be good. There can't be dark without light or ying without yang. Same goes for suffering and pleasure. Realistically speaking you can not be happy 24/7 - 365.

While self indulgence may feel like self love, or self care, it is usually an avoidance mechanism of dealing with your feelings. Things like going shopping, drinking with friends, taking a nap, or giving yourself a pedicure are really all wonderful ways to take care of yourself and cut yourself some slack. However they are also ways of us avoiding our feelings and dealing with our lives because they are surface level solutions to problems that may run deeper.

What is the difference?

Self indulgence is not bad. It can help you start taking the steps towards self love. It's just important to know the difference. Remember my pie analogy at the beginning? Too much of a good thing will make you sick. Superficially taking care of yourself will make you sick (and emotionally exhausted). The point is moderation is key. A little bit of this a little bit of that. The key is to try and live as balanced of a life as you can.

Moving from Self-Indulgence to a Balanced Life

Alright. Now that you know the difference, why not self indulge in a little self care? Lil' Something has prepared for you an entire experience with which you can help show yourself some love. Love Your Skin Gift Box has all the perfect things to get started in taking care of your skin. After all the best makeup is used to enhance your natural beauty, so why not rock what you already have? Start off by:

  1. Making your skin glow by brewing yourself a cup of Niche tea. This tea brings a delicate white tea blend especially designed with ingredients to promote beautiful skin. 
  2. The bath salt tubes are there to help you prepare the perfect bath - salt is not only beneficial to your skin but also helps alleviate sore muscles and aches. 
  3. Once you’re done enjoying your bath, it’s time to use the Pearl mask, a brightening tencel sheet mask with pearl extract which is sure to moisturise, clarify and brighten your skin up.
  4. Our cherry on top is all about the lips. Buffer and Plumper team up to form the ultimate duo for lip care. Buffer is a lip scrub which exfoliates your lips whereas Plumper takes care of moisturising them.



If you have something different in mind, check out our gift box shop and find the one that's a perfect fit! We created our gift boxes with you in mind to satisfy your self care needs and we're positive you're going to love them. 


Find out more about our blog editor Maria Michaela on her personal and authentic BLOG.